AND YET...

​​Father, how can You still love me? I am constantly ignoring You, refusing to take time out of my busy day to spend time with You. MY day? It isn't MY day. It's YOUR day. "This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24) Not one minute of any day belongs to me. You created the day; You created me (Gen. 1). You created both for Your purpose and Your pleasure: "…for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure." (Phil 2:13) How dare I claim either as My own !?! Yet, I do. I take each day and each breath for granted, as though I were the one for whom they were created. And yet, You still love me.

My days are filled with a constant concern about what others think about me. I'm driven by a desire to please others and to impress others with my accomplishments. I strive to achieve success according to man's measurement of self worth when I should use Your Rule of measurement: "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Messiah Yeshua." (Phil. 3:14) And yet, You still love me.

Decisions; decisions. Should I go here or there? Should I do this or that? I often find myself in turmoil when it comes to making decisions. Your Son, Yeshua did not experience this turmoil in His life.

He spent time with You, His Father. "And after He had sent the multitudes away, He went up to the mountain by Himself to pray…" (Matt.14:23) He obeyed You, His Father. "…yet not My will, but Thine be done."(Luke 22:42) You have shown me how to make decisions. "Abide in Me." (John 15:4) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Prov. 3:5,6) I continue to choose turmoil over trust. And yet, You still love me.

How many times have I read Your Word, and yet continue along my selfish path to accomplish my selfish plan for my life? MY life? MY life is not my own. "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from Yahweh, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price…."(1Cor. 6:19,20) Father, You have given my life to me as a gift. I, as an ungrateful child, have hoarded it for my own good. Your Son Messiah Yeshua gave His life that I might have life. "For God so love the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16) He bought for us eternal life through His shed blood. He is the embodiment of the relationship You desire us to have with You. He taught us what You desire and require. (John 15) Your Word reveals to me Your heart. But I choose to follow what is in my own selfish heart instead of what is in Your heart. And yet, You still love me.

Over the years You have shown me the truth about myself - my self. You have patiently revealed all that is in me that is not of You. You have taught me how to overcome the self in me. I have said "Yes, Lord," and then have turned away from You again, allowing my self to rule over my heart. It's not that I don’t know what You desire of me. Indeed, I do know. But I choose otherwise. And yet, You still love me.

So, what is lacking in me? OBEDIENCE! I am a disobedient and rebellious child. "For rebellion is as the sin of divination."(1Sam. 15:23) I am unhappy with my wrong choices and know how to make the right choices, yet I do not follow the directions You have given to me in order to make the right choices. And yet, You still love me.

How long will You continue to love me? No matter how long I continue to choose me over You, You will still love me. No matter how many times I grieve You with my disobedience, You will still love me. "But Yahweh demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Yeshua died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of Yahweh through Him."(Rom. 5:8,9)

AND YET, YOU STILL LOVE ME.

CHOICE

For me, for all of us, it is a matter of choice…. Seek You, hear You and obey You, or turn away in rebellion and disobedience. I must choose to die in order for You to live in me.


FROM THE BRIDEGROOM


1 "Enlarge your desire for Me, and to know Me. If you heart is truly My throne then you must allow Me to reign from there - My reign - not yours." (Nov. 26, 1995)


2 "No one can truly be a fit, usable vessel for My life – My whole life – until they die. Dying is hard. You do not like seeing yourself as you really are in the flesh, the natural, soul you - the selfish you - the you who wants what you want when you want it: lust. All of you, all of mankind, live in lust…the lust of self. All of that can die. I desire for all of it to die so that I may fill you to overflowing with My life." (Sept. 21, 1995)


3 "As I look at myself through God’s eyes of love and great desire for me, His child, all the things that displease Him in me are washed away in the tremendous wave of love. Then, in an instant, I’m encouraged to look again. And emerging out of the ashes of death is a child of God I do not know…a child of great pleasure and perfectness; a fit vessel to hold God, the I AM, Yahweh. A time of tears, shame, guilt, self interest and self power are gone in the Blood of Yeshua, and an adventure of truly becoming begins. Will the real child of God step forth? Someone you do not know or recognize. Someone Father has been holding in His heart since before time." (Sept. 15, 1995)

HIS CHOSEN PEOPLE

"I have loved you with an everlasting love."(Jer. 31:3) These words from the Father's heart were spoken to His People Israel while they were in exile in Babylon. We know that He still loves His People Israel today because He says that His love is an everlasting love. Though His People are a rebellious and disobedient people, as all people are, He still loves them. They are still His Chosen People. “From the standpoint of the gospel they are enemies for your sake, but from the standpoint of Yahweh’s choice they are beloved for the sake of the fathers; for the gifts and the call of Yahweh are irrevocable. For just as you once were disobedient to Yahweh, but now have been shown mercy because of their disobedience, so these also now have been disobedient, in order that because of the mercy shown to you they also may now be shown mercy. For Yahweh has shut up all in disobedience that He might show mercy to all.” (Rom. 11:28-32) And yet, You still love Your People.


CURRENT EVENTS

Israel is engaged in a war for its existence. They have turned to the United States, the European Union, Egypt, Jordan, and many other nations for help. Yahweh tells them to turn to Him. “I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from whence shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.” (Ps. 121:1,2) He has promised His help, if they will turn to Him. “...If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” (2 Chron. 7:14)


“Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: ‘May they prosper who love you. May peace be within your walls, and prosperity within your palaces.’ For the sake of my brothers and my friends, I will now say, "May peace be within you." For the sake of the house of the LORD our God, I will seek your good." (Ps. 122:6-9)